And do you know what "the world" is to me? Shall I show it to you in my mirror? This world: a monster of energy, without beginning, without end; a firm, iron magnitude of force that does not grow bigger or smaller, that does not expend itself but only transforms itself; as a whole, of unalterable size, a household without expenses or losses, but likewise without increase or income; enclosed by "nothingness" as by a boundary; not something blurry or wasted, not something endlessly extended, but set in a definite space as a definite force, and not a sphere that might be "empty" here or there, but rather as force throughout, as a play of forces and waves of forces, at the same time one and many, increasing here and at the same time decreasing there; a sea of forces flowing and rushing together, eternally changing, eternally flooding back, with tremendous years of recurrence, with an ebb and a flood of its forms; out of the simplest forms striving toward the most complex, out of the stillest, most rigid, coldest forms toward the hottest, most turbulent, most self-contradictory, and then again returning home to the simple out of this abundance, out of the play of contradictions back to the joy of concord, still affirming itself in this uniformity of its courses and its years, blessing itself as that which must return eternally, as a becoming that knows no satiety, no disgust, no weariness: this, my Dionysian world of the eternally self-creating, the eternally self- destroying, this mystery world of the twofold voluptuous delight, my "beyond good and evil," without goal, unless the joy of the circle is itself a goal; without will, unless a ring feels good will toward itself--do you want a name for this world? A solution for all its riddles? A light for you, too, you best-concealed, strongest, most intrepid, most midnightly men?-- This world is the will to power--and nothing besides! And you yourselves are also this will to power--and nothing besides!
Why am I so infatuated with vampires? In the books I've read, the beauty and grace of vampires tend to be what I fixate on. Their unnatural beauty and alien grace always seemed too intriguing to me. Part of the fun is imagining what the author means when describing their grace. I remember a passage about a particular vampire that walked so lightly that his feet didn't seem to touch the ground at all. I can imagine such a concept if the person in question was running at full sprint, but walking? Wouldn't at least one foot need to be planted firmly? Another aspect of theirs that I like is their heightened senses and abilities. Vampires' senses described in Anne Rice's novels are similar to the senses that one would have while on LSD. Colors would be more saturated, and you would be able to appreciate and see the beauty in things more easily. You would be able to hear minute sounds from all around you, and you would hear music as never before. Music would sound so good that you would be able to enjoy any genre. Of course, the aspect of the vampire that most wish they had is their eternal youth. Immortality is fine and dandy, but it would be nothing without eternal youth. I don't really have a fear of death, though if a crazed killer were to suddenly come at me, I would certainly be afraid. I suppose I'm afraid of dying but not death. I'm more afraid of aging and decay than death itself. Seeing old people and knowing that I will become like that once I'm older tends to give me a melancholic feeling. So, I suppose, the reasons I enjoy vampires are because they encompass the three things I care about. Vampires are beautiful, able to enjoy the world in ways people can't, and they're able to enjoy the world for eternity.
From some of the text on this site, you may gather that I am a hedonist or something similar. In some of the texts, the reasoning I give for acting a certain way is because it would lead to pleasure or the opportunity for pleasure. While I do value pleasure, I wouldn't say that I am a hedonist. Following hedonism would mean maximizing pleasure while minimizing pain. I do lead my life trying to maximize pleasure, but I do not try to minimize my pain. Often enough, I will undergo pain in order to gain pleasure. An example of this would be going to the gym or choosing to eat less. These are uncomfortable acts, but I will undergo them to gain pleasure. To me, the greatest pleasure is accomplishing my goals or moving towards them. In order to accomplish one's goals, one will usually have to undergo suffering. In truth, the things we hold in high esteem are placed on such pedestals because of the suffering associated with achieving them. Of course, suffering is not the only factor that such a thing would have to fulfill to be considered impressive. In short, I choose to maximize both pleasure and pain. By maximizing pain and using it to attain my goals, I can maximize my pleasure.